14 April 2014

'Love Life' at First Sight

This is another one of those classic cases where you've seen it make its way down the runway, gave it your usual nod of approval, but had no intention of purchasing said piece... until you crossed paths with it in-the-flesh, completely by chance. As much as we like to snack on comfort food before we get into bed, don't we also wish we can slip into comfort shoes when we get out of it? There's only so much gravity plus physical strain my soles can bear, even though just like all of you, I've thoroughly brainwashed myself into thinking comfort-is-merely-a-state-of-mind; that is, until your feet starts to feel like they're undergoing contemporary Chinese foot-binding, and you're the idiot who let it happen (the double irony here is that I am Chinese). So perhaps its a combination of being fed up with bunion-inducing shoes, or simply felt the need for forgo anything platformed, but when I came soul-to-sole with these check knit pull-on sneakers, they were LOVE-LIFE at first sight. They cradled my sore ankles and borderline-disfigured toes like the virgin Mary for baby Jesus. Maybe I saw God for a split second, or perhaps that was just the blood flowing back into my body, but somewhere along the lines of being able to feel my nerves again, it felt holy heavenly. This 'epiphany', if you can call it that, had me evaluate just how unhealthy most my existing footwear were. So, armed with ease, newness, and full on optimism printed along my Achilles heel, you were mine. This post really should belong to #FootwearFriday, but when they're this optimistic and hails from Céline, let's face it, who gives a fuck.
shoes CÉLINE S/S14 (HERE)

07 April 2014

Aunt Flow

I may be a boy-tomboy, and biologically menstruating would be as folklore as a 21st century immaculate conception, or faulting the Bermuda Triangle to explain the mysterious case of flight 370; but I'd like to think that rather than undergoing the actual physical process of blood-loss, I do still 'manstruate' because a noticeably hormonal monthly state of being does get synced up with my female partner-in-crimes... but all this is irrelevant to the period-referenced post title. The 'flow' actually is in regards to this season's flow-y navy Zara pleated trousers; and they are, for lack of a better adjective, amaze-balls! Yet the only drawback, if you really consider it, comes down to its undeniably superfluous hem length, proving that its code of conduct when worn must be chaperoned with heels. Accordingly, I resolved the issue by stepping into my trusty old Acne-Avalanche boot wedges. So now, standing five inches taller, I'm nearly six foot, which in Asian terms is like six foot five, so yeah, pretty impressive... #WatchMeTwirl. With this newly reached stature, it's advised to sport a big-ass hat, which like a sombrero also acts an umbrella. Then we tag along a humbly sized marbled minaudière (which does fit a tampon!) as not to skew the proportions and lines of the ensemble in question. Rest assured that this look is fit for professional encounters too as the eel-skin lapel blazer brings just the right amount of formal to my more informal presence.

  關於這篇文章的標題"Aunt Flow", 我知道中文裡面有俗語把生理期稱作「大姨媽」, 但在英文裡面的「大姨媽」是有名字的, 叫做 "Flow", 事實上代表經血排出體外或是作為「飄逸」之意。我雖然自許為一個boy-tomboy(男性裡面的tomboy, 你們懂嗎?), 但是生理上我當然沒辦法/也不想跟女性一樣有月經(menstruate)週期, 如果有的話, 那就會像21世紀的聖母瑪莉亞之處女懷孕一樣的不可思議, 或是百慕達三角洲會讓飛機370憑空消失那樣的瘋狂謬論, 但我依然覺得我每月都會有男性的生理週期 - manstruate (笑), 跟我很多女性朋友一樣, 我的賀爾蒙會在一個固定的時間產生變化。(大笑) 但是, 上面所述的所有, 其實跟經血沒有太大的關係(再笑), 我想強調的重點其實是「飄逸」。尤其是這一季ZARA的海軍藍打褶長褲, 沒有第二句話, 它非常好看!如果要吹毛球疵的話, 唯一的缺點可能是它的長度對一般人來說有點太長, 感覺一定要逼人穿上很高的高跟鞋, 因此, 為了解決這個問題, 我重新拿出我已經冷落很久的ACNE榭型鞋 - 那讓我瞬間增高了五寸, 等於擁有模特兒的身高。我終於可以跟超模劉雯平視了。(厲害吧!)#灑花。鑒於這個新的身高, 我個人建議可以搭配一頂寬大帽緣的帽子, 不用說下雨的時候還可以當雨傘使用。另外我當天選擇一個迷你的手拿包, 是因為除了手機和信用卡之外, 剛好還可以放進衛生棉。(好啦我要focus「飄逸」不是月經) 請放心, 這套穿搭也同樣適合一些正經的專業人士, 反正像我這麼不正經的人都可以穿了。(哈哈)
hat MAISON MICHEL (SIMILAR) | blazer GIVENCHY (SIMILAR) | shirt CÉLINE | pleated trousers ZARA (HERE) | clutch & boots ACNE STUDIOS (SIMILAR) | sunglasses CÉLINE (HERE)

31 March 2014

Sneak-Peek, Sneakers, and Sweets

We here on The Provoker, have a 'thing' for novelty shit. So if you're into that sort of kinky, sarcastically hipster, funky genre; well then, you're in for a provocative treat! The next day after playing supermarket at the Chanel Shopping Center (still bummed I left without so much as a can of Chanel coconut cream), I performed my biannual patronage to one of their showrooms, where an up-close and personal encounter with the runway pieces were in order. American celebrities in particular are going to have to ditch their not-so-Juicy Couture sweat suits, in exchange for these pastel feather-blotched crop tweed ones because sporting said sweatpants to do groceries are guaranteed chic if paparazzi were to ever catch you in your sweats buying milk. The room was generously saturated with eye candy; and speaking of candy, yes, there were candy necklaces adornment, the smarties-candy embroidery (sweet, sweet idea!), textured tinsel-felt appliqués, and leather-trimmed sheer leave panels all along a dress. These were just a few of the heaps of insanely executed garments featured here. But come on, we all know the focus of the show were on the shoes, so let's talk about just how 'kickass' they were! Tweed sneakers courtesy of Chanel, it doesn't get much chicer does it? I mean, it's not anything NEW per se, sneakers have infiltrated its laid-back look into high fashion, and has been going on for seasons, because exhibiting any heel below two inches is evidence of ease and edit. Okay, we got you, it's cool to wear flats, done- But perhaps it's partly blinded-by-the-label, as well as actual aesthetics... but somewhere along the lines of hunting for custom flyknit Nikes, and comparing prices to Stella McCartney for Adidas sneakers, we've found our Mecca of sportswear shoes; so fuck it, we want the ones from Mademoiselle Coco. Owning such footwear is an inevitability, so I mind as well start saving up for these undoubtedly-overpriced-advertised-trending-hyped 'it' shoes (just think about how long the international waiting list for them would be... #Yikes!). It often saddens me when I do visit these showrooms, knowing that it'd take at least half a year till I get to wear them. So much for a sneaker-sneak-peek, more like a sneax-tease!
photography NATHAN MOY

24 March 2014

Little 'Red' Jacket

Though physically I'm back on US soil, my mind occasionally drifts back to *cue accordion music*... FRONCE. The American who dreams of Paris, how original...! So there I was, still in Paree, where clichéd baguettes were nowhere found lying in bicycle baskets, berets were non-existing, and little French Madeline orphanages are in no way chic-er than any others (well, maybe some). Still, the city is a beaut, and teeming with local treasures best discovered through aimless wandering. So wander I did, right into a confined consignment boutique in the heart of Saint-Germain-des-Prés, where a hidden gem that is this 1996-7 red tweed Chanel jacket was tucked away, then swiftly purchased for a handsome bargain. Due to my penchant for proper vintage, I have no patience in not immediately sporting a new look. Basing it all around the garment-in-question, I layered under a loose-fitted white mesh jumper (which is then actually layered over my V-neck pajama top), my current fave frayed-hem denims, all-white saggy beanie to 'compliment' my no-longer all-white sneakers, starry shades (yes those white spots are stars, not zits), and finalizing the lewk with a vintage Chanel chain-backpack, ya'know, just to match the jacket. I've been painstakingly missing the French and crystal-clear water beaches so much, the two might just add up to a hasty weekend trip to St. Barts? I mean, it's just a Piña Colada and a plane ride away, raaaight?
beanie SANDRO (HERE) | sunglasses DOLCE & GABBANA (HERE) | jacket & backpack CHANEL (SOURCE) | top STELLA MCCARTNEY (SIMILAR) | jeans WRANGLER (SIMILAR) | sneakers NO NAME (HERE)

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